11 replies to this topic

[SolidFake]

This is just too good, so I had to post it here ^^

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Article I. Thou shalt ban whatever carry thy teammates have requested to play.
Article II. Me mid or feed.
Article III. Forsooth! Thou hast not saved mine life! Verily, fuck thee, noob Soraka. Y thee no heal noob fucker?
Article IV. It is written, <enemy carry> OP.
Article V. In the tradition of our forebears, thou shalt uninstall, for it is thine fault that we now taste defeat. Indeed, thou art a carry most lacking in skille and I hate thee with all the passion I have previously reserved for mine lover. I suspected that I should have selected Tristana while I was engaged in instalocking Evelynn. In conclusion, good sir, go and fuck thyself with a rusty spoone. In defense of God and country, all report Corki feeder gg.
Article VI. Fuck thy Tryndamere, for he knowest that he couldst not survive my onslaught in man-to-man combat. Tryndamere, I challenge thee to a duel! Though it is neither conducive to my team's overall welfare, nor relevant to the mission at hand, I wish to demonstrate my poor judgement and misunderstanding of mechanics! I shall await thee at Baron!
Article VII. Me <new champion> or me feed.
Article VIII. Thine threats of Tribunal action distress me not! Those reports do nothing of substance! Thy frustration amuses me!
Article IX. Mine team has emerged victorious! Thou art therefore a sorry mess of worthless neophytes, undeserving of my respect or attention! I, and I alone can claim credit for this glorious victory, rendered all the more impressive for my having overcome such a shit-tacular offering of assistance from mine allies! Fuck thee, and fuck thee again! Thou hast been wrecked, noobfucker! Thou shouldst uninstall!
Article X. Blasphemy! <New champion> OP.
Article XI. Thou hast failed to assist me according to my expectations. I shall therefore while away the remainder of our time here by assisting our enemy's war effort. Although in any other military I would be summarily executed, thou canst not reach me, and therefore fuck thee.
Article XII. Thou shalt lock a role other than what thou hast declared, forcing thy teammates to scramble for a new consensus in under fifteen seconds. Thou shalt remain silent during their panic. Thou shalt not forget to blame the person who wouldst play the role thou hast locked. They came to thy team and they took thy job! Thou art correct to seize thine occupation back from such a mongrel.
Article XIII. Thou hast defeated me. Get a fucking life. Thou art a fucking nerd. How dost thou like it in thine mother's basement? Fuck thee.
Article XIV. gg noob team
Article XV. Thou shalt make a thread on General Discussion declaring thyself to have descended into the treacherous depths of Elo hell.
Article XVI. General Discussions giveth neither a fuck nor a shite regarding thine misery. Thou shalt go fuck thyself. Thou shalt cry a little. Thou shalt bring thy concerns to Reddit.
Article XVII. Thou hast bested me in a gentlemenly duel. 'Twas thine luck that secured my defeat, thine skill having had nothing to do with the outcome. Thou shalt come at me bro.
Article XVIII. Thou shalt build thy champion according to my instructions, for I am the foremost authority on all matters concerning or relating to Leagues and also Legends. Thou shalt not question mine orders. Thou shalt buy all the wards for our team! Thou art a knave and a scoundrel.
Article XIX. If it shall come to pass that a battle is to be waged over a critical resource or objective, thou shalt farm thy Bloodthirster at a safe distance. Fuck thine comrades! Thou shalt carry with thine stacks!
Article XX. Fuck mine jungler, for he is most assuredly responsible for our predicament. He hath neglected to gank, and now mine enemy hath outfarmed me. I perish, and the infidel becometh fed! Woe is me, that I should be fated to fight alongside such a cretin!
EDIT: Thou shalt update thine Summoner's Code to include such Amendments and Addenda as the community shall specifye. Thou shalt credit Bigern_, iArnav, SteelyThews, Kryptopsy, FirstOne617, and soah1086. Thou shalt make TheChance a sandwiche of corned beef and Swiss on dark rye.
EDIT2: Thou shalt thank thine peers for thine first foray into the front page of a subreddit!

[Storm2344]

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Thou hast bested me in a gentlemenly duel. 'Twas thine luck that secured my defeat, thine skill having had nothing to do with the outcome. Thou shalt come at me bro.

this reminds me of a guy who was ~900 elo and claimed it was his team that failed all the time. Some other guy with ~1700 elo challenged to duel to prove him that hes bad and picked soraka. Ofc high elo guy won [teh 900 elo guy playd tryn] almost all matches [ didnt see them all on stream but they were playing like 10 times] with various champs but low elo guy still claimed that it was only luck. Wont reveal his name but EUNE guys who hang on PlaywithRiot could possibly know who am i talking about ;p

Edited by Storm2344, 07 May 2012 - 07:03 PM.

[Scooterpie]

Article XII. Thou shalt lock a role other than what thou hast declared, forcing thy teammates to scramble for a new consensus in under fifteen seconds. Thou shalt remain silent during their panic. Thou shalt not forget to blame the person who wouldst play the role thou hast locked. They came to thy team and they took thy job! Thou art correct to seize thine occupation back from such a mongrel.


Too true!

[CyanDye]

All report Corki feeder gg.

[Nemerian]

genius

[OnnaJReverT]

this code is outrageous, truly, truly outrageous!

Spoiler

and sadly so true

[malphitethewise]

i read this thinking in a gentlemanly "British, monocle, pipe and top hat" voice

[Sm0t_p0ker]

so brilliant.
also,

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Article XIII. Thou hast defeated me. Get a fucking life. Thou art a fucking nerd. How dost thou like it in thine mother's basement? Fuck thee.

always makes me laugh. you're playing a friggin video game on the internet. If you have enough time to get even decent at LoL, chances are you're a nerd of some sort.

[The Hound]

• If thou hast partaken in drink this night, thou must declare it frequently for all to hear. "Forsooth! I have quaffed nine tankards of ale previous to this joust! Verily, I am inebriated."
  
• On occasion, a seasoned veteran may wish to participate in a novice's joust while masquerading as a neophyte. On such occasions it is a gentleman's responsibility to constantly berate the true novices, criticize their lack of precision and coordination, and regale them with tales of how large and strong your other jousting horse is.
  
• The leaden lord, who doth strum upon a lute of air, is the mightiest warrior in the proud nation of Brazil.

[Lampshadez]

 The Hound, on 07 May 2012 - 11:55 PM, said:

• The leaden lord, who doth strum upon a lute of air, is the mightiest warrior in the proud nation of Brazil.

i lold hard

[Sholto]

 malphitethewise, on 07 May 2012 - 10:19 PM, said:

i read this thinking in a gentlemanly "British, monocle, pipe and top hat" voice

Hell, I did the same but aloud, much to my roommate's discontent.

[ReversedAura]

 The Hound, on 07 May 2012 - 11:55 PM, said:

• On occasion, a seasoned veteran may wish to participate in a novice's joust while masquerading as a neophyte. On such occasions it is a gentleman's responsibility to constantly berate the true novices, criticize their lack of precision and coordination, and regale them with tales of how large and strong your other jousting horse is.

I swear to the heavens, thy jousting horse easily stretches to the opposition's structure of focusing energy! And nay, it hath not taken any supplements.